You might be new to these terms but you must have wanted to acquire the personality and aura of a gentleman someday. This is something related to building a robust personality and character traits. So, to understand how the character traits of an alpha male differ from that of a beta male, and to develop an alpha male personality and mindset, we must go beyond the esoteric and first understand the differences between the two.
After years of studying masculinity and personal development, researches and scientists have discovered nine characteristic traits that distinguish alpha males from beta males. In this article, I’m going to break the tie and illustrate their traits to help you understand exactly what it means to be an alpha male so that you can determine your category and where you need to grow.
1. Alpha Males Are Assertive.
One of the key features to distinguish between alpha and beta males is that alpha males are more assertive than the latter; beta males are passive.
An alpha male knows what he wants is willing to give his 100% to achieve that. They are determined than beta males and speaks his mind, and sets clear limits as well as goals. They own their desires without shame or guilt and also keep the capacity to answer or speak up when they are questioned, or their sentiments are hurt.
For instance, if an alpha male notices his wife is spending an exorbitant amount using his credit card, he would actively respond by first setting a limit. He would explain to his wife, their financial situation, and would firmly ask her to spend within limits.
If even after establishing this boundary known, his wife refuses to stick to her usual spending habits, he would not complain or ignore the problem. Instead, he would directly confront her and enforce the boundary by lowering the limit even further on her card or by closing her account.
On the contrary, beta males are passive in nature. They may know what they want in their life, but they often lack the spine to go after it. When confronted with a dilemma, they bite their tongue and agree hesitantly, even though they strongly want to take a stand for their desires and decisions.
If the same situation is faced by a beta male as described above, he is less likely to even make it to the first firm step. Instead of confronting his wife about her extravagant spending habits, he would passively complain about her to his in-laws or other people and allow his frustration to affect him from inside. He might even blindside his partner and take out his anger on someone else or for a petty matter.
Alpha males do not actively seek conflict, but they also do not believe in passivity. They actively handle conflict and move on knowing, passivity can’t ever solve any conflict successfully.
2. Alphas Are Gentlemen.
True alphas are kind to others, courteous, polite, and considerate in nature. However, they respect themselves first and prioritize their well-being, too; they do not allow anyone to treat them disrespectfully.
Even though they prioritize their own well being first, they genuinely care about the needs of other people in their life and take responsibility for others. They do not crave attention or validation, but they care for others because it’s the right thing to do, and it’s simply a part of the natural personality.
Betas, on the other hand, are the “The Nice Guy” in the drama. Their outward appearances do not allow them to be distinguished from alphas – they also behave to be polite, kind, courteous, and courteous. But, from the inside, they only behave like that when they believe they can gain something from someone or a situation.
In an attempt to get others to like him, he will be the “nice guy” and will agree to the beliefs and opinions of others that he does not truly hold. Beta males are crowd-followers; they follow the crowd and seek approval and validation from others.
One of the truest alpha male personality traits is that they take full responsibility for their actions and decisions rather than playing the blame-game.
Alpha males are known to avoid bitching about people and situations; they actively analyze the situation or problem and seek solutions or understand their role, if any. He either accepts or tries to change the situation, and if he cannot change something, he is most likely to move on rather than bitching about it.
For example, if an alpha male faces workplace politics or a financial decline that might take away his job, he won’t waste time complaining, blaming others, or drowning in self-pity. He will accept the situation and focus on the solution; he will set out on a new job search.
Betas, on the other hand, believe they are at fault of anything that happens and does not happen to have a problem-solving attitude towards life. They refuse to take responsibility for their actions and decisions and will seek out any scapegoat that they can find to put their blame on them and quietly move out of the limelight.
They are too weak at their hearts to change a situation if they do not like it. They also lack the courage to accept the situation and move on, or accept their mistakes, if any, thus adopting the modus operandi “blame and complain.”
If a beta male were to lose his job, he would simply start the blame game and find out excuses to blame – like stars, workspace politics, destiny, and so on, without learning from his mistakes and correcting them.
4, Alphas do not seek Validation
One of the easiest ways to identify whether a man is an alpha or beta is to observe his interaction with people around them.
Typically, alpha males are supposed to be popular with ladies. Because they are on their path to living a fulfilling life, he is inclined towards sharing original and positive emotions with others. He genuinely feels good about his life and direction and of those around him. Alpha males tend to have a magnetic allure that makes it easy for them to interact and attract high-quality women and people, in general. Also, unlike beta males, alpha males do not seek validation or approval from other men or women, to feel good about him, his life, or achievements.
Alpha males are more likely to turn down casual sexual encounters because they crave a genuine human connection. They genuinely enjoy the company of the women with whom they choose to share their time and life.
Betas, on the other hand, seek validation and approval, especially from women, to feel proud about themselves, their life, and achievements. Beta males do not feel like they are “enough” or “capable” without someone’s validation or approval. They don’t genuinely care about human connection, shared values, and intimacy and crave validation and suffer from lust issues.
Beta males crave validation from women and society so much that they will digest disrespect, sleep with women for whom they don’t share any genuine feelings, as long as they are getting approved of being a ‘man.’
5. Alphas Feel Confident and Capable Themselves
Because alpha males take full responsibility for their actions and decisions, they tend to develop a high level of trust in themselves; they feel capable of performing any role and come out with flying colors. They, too, seek expert advice and mentorship in times of need, but the major difference between the two hierarchies is that they have the humility to know when to ask for help. But at the end of the day, they are confident about their actions, decisions and have strong faith in themselves and God.
Whether he succeeds in his mission or meets failure, he trusts his decisions and gives another chance to himself. He praises himself for participating and learns from his mistakes even if he fails and knows that the pain of not succeeding cannot be greater than the pain of regretting to participate.
Beta males, on the other hand, leave their decisions on their friends, family, colleagues, and completely rely on other’s advice about how they should lead their lives. They do not consider their own decision about how they want to lead their life and chooses a job, partner, or any choice based on other’s decisions. As a result, they often do not reach their ambitions and live a life full of regret and frustration.
6. Alphas Long for Growth and Mastery
Alpha males often tend to be perfectionists and give their best in every moment. They have a longing for growth, mastering skills, and reject mediocrity in all situations. They refuse to be laid back or feel incapable in any sphere of life.
Alphas have strong faith in themselves; they believe in their potential and give their best efforts and hard work to reach their goals. They strive for excellence in every sphere of life: relationships, health, career, happiness, finances, and spirituality.
Betas are more likely to succumb to their failures and accept mediocrity. Often, they strive for superficial excellence to impress others and earn validation. Betas may achieve excellence in one field, but their acceptance of mediocrity is obvious in most spheres of life.
7. Alphas Face Their Inner Demons
If you are an alpha male, the answer to any fucked-up situation in life will be straightforward, “Deal with it.”
Everyone has their inner battles and incapability to fight – whether it’s anxiety, depression, alcoholism, or some major trauma.
Alphas accept their life’s battles and choose to confront their demons, fight them, and refuse to submit to their lives and destiny. Betas, as always, hide from their inner battles, resort to excuses, and complain about why their life sucks so much. An alpha male struggling with depression will accept the cause, try to fight, and change it with all his will power. He does not complain about his life, not being fair. He will seek help from professionals, seek therapy, and take a strong stand to improve his condition.
8. Alphas Acknowledge their Weaknesses
Despite the various myths that revolve around alpha males, true alpha males are not perfect at everything, and they know it. Although their commitment to excellence makes them expertise and wiser than most other people, they are usually aware of their weaknesses and accept them.
They don’t always behave like they “know it all,” instead, they are asking for help. In fact, when faced with a conflict where their own expertise or knowledge may seem inadequate to fight off the issues, they seek expert opinions and help from other successful persons. They learn from their mistakes and weaknesses and employ newer tactics to fight off conflicts. They have a growth mindset, unlike beta males.
Beta males mostly tend to act like they know everything and are experts in all subject matters. They even tend to give their opinions on topics they know nothing about and show off their achievements and skills that are totally irrelevant. Finally, when they are cornered, they fight unnecessarily to prove they were right.
For example, if an alpha male starts a new venture, he is most likely to seek help from experts and successful business owners, and hire professionals in each department. An alpha male will seek help from coaches and mentors with humility and acknowledge their own incapability in certain fields. However, in the same situation, a beta male is more likely to exaggerate his limited knowledge to show his expertise in diverse fields and is less likely to accept or follow expert opinions.
The simple reason behind such a mindset of beta males is that they seek validation so much that they find incompetency to be reducing their worth in other’s eyes. But more importantly, they strongly feel the desire to prove themselves smart, knowledgeable, and perfect in front of others.
These are the most crucial differences that make an alpha male stand out from a beta male. However, these characters also apply to females of organisms too. So, you now have explicit knowledge about how alpha males have powerful personality traits than beta males, and you can strive to instill these traits in your personality.